Monday, March 8, 2010

I love Him more than I love Camron

shining ethereal being, speak to me
for i am only who i am, i only have myself to offer

you laugh and open wide your eyes, trying to make me see
what you see

yet my heart cannot contain the
awful mix of joy and pain buried deep within you.

i sometimes think i must feel nothing
my heart's song is scratchy and dull to yours.

and yet you chase, you pursue me
when i dare not breathe in your direction.

your arms draw me near but your eyes draw me nearer
"draw me close to you... never let me go..."

caught up in the feeling of your touch,
you captivate me

no longer do i call you a being
for you are now my knight, my love.

i gather all the fragrant roses of my talents, knowledge, and beauty
and throw them down at your feet

does no one understand?
how could anyone live without this love?

we dance a dance of a thousand unspoken words
my mind is reeling as you kiss me

then, in my moment of greatest joy,
you bend down to me and lift up your sleeves

you show me the scars and how i put them there.
i drove the nails in by my own hand.

as i cry out in anguish, ashamed of the monster that i am,
you comfort me.

you tell me of how you've planned this all along,
how you've just been waiting for me.

it didn't end at the cross. you were meant to dance on your grave.

so though i don't understand, you pick up my hand
and ask me to dance one more dance.

i accept, not knowing what i did to deserve such forgiveness, and as we dance, you are swept away into the wind.

yet i clearly heard you whisper, "dance, my love, until i can join you again..."

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